It was the summer 1995 and I had been living with a constant buzzing in my ears for six months. Neither doctors nor audiologists could determine the cause. Whatever it was I “had” didn’t fit the criteria for any diagnosis, including tinnitus.

Then one day I went to Women to Women, a holistic health center in Yarmouth, Maine that was founded by renowned physician Dr. Christiane Northrup. I arrived, filled out forms, and was ushered into an exam room where I soon met with a nurse practitioner. Her name was Marcelle Pick and I’ll never forget her because of the impact she just happened to have on the course of my life.

She began our visit with the usual health related questions. I told her about my quest to find a cure for my Crohn’s disease and about the buzzing in my ears. We talked about my diet and my lifestyle and then, quite casually, she asked, “And how’s your marriage, Kate”?

That’s when it happened. I completely fell apart. My body responded before I had time to pass a single thought through my head. One minute I was a “together” woman being proactive about her health care and the next minute I was, quite literally, a shaking, quaking, sweaty, sobbing mess. I shocked the hell out of myself – and Marcelle too, I’m sure. This meltdown took me completely by surprise. What in the world was happening? Where had this sudden volcanic eruption come from?

It came from denying the truth of what I was feeling and just hadn’t wanted to face. I was, in fact, unhappy in my marriage and scared to death to leave.

To be more specific, I was afraid of hurting a very good man who had never been anything but loving towards me. I was afraid of starting over, alone, in my 40’s. I was afraid that I might never find love again. And I was afraid of making a terrible mistake.

Our married life was actually good in many ways. We liked and respected each other, and still do. We didn’t fight. And we were always kind to one another. But the truth I didn’t want to face was that the relationship just wasn’t the right one for me. I felt like I was growing old inside; that’s the best way I can describe it. I couldn’t explain it rationally, but I knew the truth of it in my heart.

So, the dam of denial finally broke that day with Marcelle. And I knew right then that there was no turning back. A part of me was terrified and a part of me was hugely relieved to finally have the truth brought to the light of my consciousness.

After the appointment, as I made my way back to my car, I noticed something that stopped me in my tracks. I stood still and listened. All I could hear was silence.

The buzzing had stopped. Just. Like. That.

I made it through the truth telling and the leaving and the guilt and the loneliness and I made it through the fear. I went on to build a wonderful new life. And, yes, I did find love again.

“Put your ear down close to your soul and listen hard.” Anne Sexton

So, I downloaded the book onto my Kindle, jumped right in, and discovered that, for me, this book was a life changer. I don’t say that often. In fact, the last time I wrote about such a book was over a year ago in my review of Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth” Review of “A New Earth”.

Here’s an overview of Anita’s story:

Anita Moorjani was dying. She had stage 4B lymphoma. She was in a coma, in Intensive Care, with her body going into organ failure. Doctors told her husband she had hours to live.

Anita, however, was experiencing quite a different reality from that of the people gathered at her bedside. Though in a coma, she was acutely aware of everything that was happening that pertained to her. She could see her brother boarding a plane in India to come be with her in Hong Kong; she witnessed a conversation, word for word, that took place between her husband and a doctor 40 feet down the hall from her room; and she was later able to describe in detail procedures and comments made by medical personnel that occurred while she was comatose.

Simultaneously, she was experiencing a dimension beyond our earthly awareness. “Love, joy, ecstasy, and awe poured into me, through me, and engulfed me. I was swallowed up and enveloped in more love than I ever knew existed. I felt more free and alive than I ever had.”

What then follows is Anita’s account of her near death experience (NDE). Here are a few of her first hand descriptions of what she came to understand in her state of expanded consciousness:

• “It didn’t feel as though I’d physically gone somewhere else – it was more as though I’d been awakened. My soul was finally realizing it’s true magnificence!”
• “Time didn’t run linearly the way we experience it here. It’s as though our earthly minds convert what happens around us into a sequence; but in actuality, when we’re not expressing through our bodies, everything occurs simultaneously, whether past, present, or future.”
• “I became aware that we’re all connected. This was not only every person and living creature, but the interwoven unification felt as though it were expanding outward to include everything in the universe – every human, animal, plant, insect, mountain, sea, inanimate object, and the cosmos. I realized that the entire universe is alive and infused with consciousness, encompassing all of nature… we’re all One, and each of us has an effect on the collective Whole.”
• “I always thought I needed to work at being lovable. I believed that I somehow had to be deserving and worthy of being cared for, so it was incredible to realize this wasn’t the case. I’m loved unconditionally, for no other reason than simply because I exist.”

There has, over the years, been great controversy about NDE’s. Some scientists posit that they are simply hallucinations brought on by oxygen deprivation. Anita, however, returned from “the other side” having experienced profound insight into the meaning of her existence and the nature of her illness. One of the most astounding aspects of her experience is the fact that, after coming out of her coma, her body was 100% cancer free within a matter of weeks. Her complete and rapid recovery remains a medical mystery to the many physicians who have studied her case.

While none of the insights Anita shares are new to me, reading her first hand account has deepened my understanding of them. The book took me on an enlightening, inspiring, reassuring, and uplifting journey. In the days since finishing the book, I’ve been walking around with a renewed sense that all is truly well, everything is unfolding perfectly, and our only “job” is to fully express our unique, authentic selves without fear. Oh, and most importantly, to enjoy the journey!

If your interest has been piqued, you can go to Anita’s website: Anita Moorjani, you can read more about her book at “Dying to be Me” at Amazon, or search for Anita Moorjani on Youtube to watch one of many interviews and talks.

Speaking for myself, the red flag that lets me know I’m suffering from lack o’ rest is the sudden onset of unprovoked crankiness.

And if I don’t pay attention, recognize the underling need that’s crying out for my attention, and make some time for genuine rest, then little annoyances become bigger upsets, frustration is just one red light away, and I’m not having a very good time anymore.

So today, in honor of my need for rest, and perhaps your need as well, I’d like to offer up a simple technique called “intentional resting”. It’s easy to do and you can use it anytime, anywhere. I find that it gets me into a peaceful and relaxed state quite quickly (just as long as I remember to use it.. ah, there’s the rub..).

The 5-minute video below, by Dan Howard, will show you how to rest intentionally for yourself. You can also use this tool to rest intentionally for situations in your life or in the world. For instance, when you hear a disturbing news story, rather than getting caught up in the fear and anxiety that surrounds the situation, you can rest for it instead. This technique brings peace to whatever it is you focus upon.

Here’s the link to the 5 minute video. I hope you find it helpful.

Intentional Resting Video

Wishing you deep, sweet rest when you need it!!!

“True silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment.” William Penn

Imagine you’re behind the wheel of your car, driving along at night, headlights illuminating the road ahead. You have a destination in mind and you know you’re going in the right direction. Yet, all you can see at the moment is a limited expanse of pavement that fades into the darkness.

You don’t agonize over how you’ll make a curve or take a turn several miles down the road because you trust that you’ll know exactly what to do when you get there.

Granted, sometimes you’ve got to flip on the high beams. Preparing to travel abroad, for instance, requires projecting rather far ahead: renew passport, make plane reservations, get vaccinations, etc.

But most days, I think all we need to do is what I like to call low beam living, focusing on that small stretch of road ahead, knowing that the future will take care of itself, and trusting that we we will know exactly what to do – when we need to do it.

Like most of us, I can’t claim to live this way all the time, but I certainly aspire to do just that. It makes for a much more peaceful journey, and it’s the only way to really enjoy the scenery, don’t you think?

Wishing you happy travels.

“It is better to travel well than to arrive.”   the Buddha

It was 1981. I had just earned an MFA in Directing from the University of Minnesota but was too sick to pursue a career. I had been diagnosed with Crohn’s disease nine years prior and had been in a progressive downward spiral, physically and emotionally. My view of the world was pretty dismal. The Universe felt like an impersonal, random, and fearful place. I was lonely, sick and afraid.

At the beginning of that summer while in Montreal, my dad fell 20 feet onto a concrete floor, shattering a hip, leg, and shoulder. He would spend the next three months in a body cast at Royal Victoria Hospital.

My mother and I headed to Montreal to be near my dad for the duration. We sublet a tiny apartment from a McGill med student and spent our days reading to my dad and keeping him company.

My depression began to deepen. Just walking to and from the hospital was a challenge. It was harrowing to be more than a few steps from a bathroom. The future felt hopeless. I began to want “out”.

Then, two small miracles occurred.

I began to read a book called “There is a River” by Thomas Sugrue. It had been casually loaned to me before I left for Montreal. It was a biography of a man I’d never heard of before, Edgar Cayce. I didn’t know at the time that this book would change my life.

Mr. Cayce, born into a modest farming family in Kentucky in 1877, discovered that he could go into a trance state for clients and channel medical treatments and past life information. Ironically, Mr. Cayce was a devout Christian who read the Bible cover to cover every year of his life and he had no prior belief in reincarnation. What dispelled any doubts I might have had about his credibility was how many details from his readings were later verified through historical research, all of which was beyond the knowledge and scope of a humble man with an 8th grade education.

Like Alice, I felt like I had fallen down the rabbit hole. Perhaps there was an order and meaning to life that was far beyond what I had thought. Perhaps there was a Divine spark in all of us that survived our bodily existence. Perhaps there was a grand plan and I was an integral part of it. Perhaps I might want to stick around after all…

Meanwhile, my dad had hired a French tutor. In the course of their conversations, she mentioned a doctor in Toronto who had helped her heal from a chronic illness. His name was James D’Adamo. He was my second miracle. Edgar Cayce had given me faith; Dr. D’Adamo gave me hope. His most potent medicine? Five little words: “You body can be healed.” It took time, patience, and discipline, but he was right. Today I am Crohn’s free.

Faith and hope have led me to a joyful life and a career fueled by a passion for helping others discover how to take heart, take hold, and take flight. I believe the Universe is a place of love and magic where guidance is always available. And sometimes it comes to us in the most unassuming ways.. a little paperback book, or a casual conversation.

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Dr. Howard Thurman

Last Sunday night I saw a piece on “60 Minutes” that knocked my socks off. It moved my deeply. Goosebumps, teary eyes, the whole nine yards.

What I witnessed was a community in the grips of passion, each person reflecting the gifts of that powerful force:

*total engagement in the present moment,

*connection with something greater than themselves,

*hard work rewarded by even deeper fulfillment,

*joy, love, power and luminosity.

Whether in community or alone, pursuing a passion is anything but frivolous – be it writing, gardening, painting, singing, volunteering, or making paper dolls. Whatever it is that lights you up, it is the very oxygen that your soul needs to breathe free in this world. It is nothing less than essential.

So today, in honor of your own passionate pursuits, I’d like to share this 4 minute video about the group I was introduced to last Sunday night, the Kinshasa Symphony Orchestra of the Democratic Republic of the Congo. May they inspire you, as they have me. Enjoy..

(Side note: Isn’t it interesting that this group was born as a result of one man’s seeming misfortune? You’ll see what i mean.)

Kinshasa Symphany

As with everything profound, Focus Pocus is simple – but not easy.  I’ve been working with it for years and still find it a fascinating challenge.  But, when I am able to wield the magic wand with finess, I can literally transform my world from blah to beautiful with a flick of the mind.  The results of using Focus Pocus can be quite stunning if practiced often and with gusto.

Because what we focus upon determines how we feel, all you need to do to practice Focus Pocus is to start noticing where you’ve placed your attention.  Your point of focus will either have you feeling good or…. well, anywhere from mildly unhappy to downright awful.  The power to flip between the two sides of the scale is completely under our control.  What often happens is that we get so caught up in our feelings that we forget to look at the thoughts that create them in the first place!

So, the next time you find yourself stewing about something or slowly sinking into a fun, just notice what has become the object of your attention.  Gently re-place your focus on something that you know will lift your spirits – a sight, a sound, a memory, a dream.  And, abracadabra!, you’ve transformed how you are feeling in this one precious moment that is, after all is said and done, your very life.

“Anxiety is just repeatedly experiencing failure in advance.”  Seth Godin

I read this book in print, and then I listened to it on CD.  It’s that kind of book – dense and rich.  It’s also a life changer.  In fact, I consider it one of the most important books I’ve read in a very long time.  And, for anyone seeking lasting happiness, it is one of the most helpful I’ve come across.

So what is this “new earth” Mr. Tolle is talking about?  It’s the possibility of creating heaven on earth by creating heaven within our selves, one person at a time.  And how might we do this, you ask?  By making the shift from identification with the ever changing physical, mental and emotional world of form (bodies, thoughts and emotions) to identification with the part of us that is formless and timeless – the part of us that is aware of our oneness with the source of all life – our souls.

While drawing on different sacred texts and wisdom schools throughout the ages, especially the teachings of Jesus and the Buddha, Mr. Tolle pulls the common threads together to offer us practical advise on how to “wake up” to a truer reality.  He writes, “Is humanity ready for a transformation of consciousness, an inner flowering so radical and profound that compared to it the flowering of plants, no matter how beautiful, is only a pale reflection?  Can human beings lose the density of their conditioned mind structures and become like crystals or precious stones, so to speak, transparent to the light of consciousness?”  If embarking on such an adventure tugs at you, then you’re sure to find this book both engaging and enlightening.

Mr. Tolle, a philosopher and spiritual teacher, examines the causes of suffering and how we can, quite practically, ease the suffering in our own lives. The most prominent way we create unhappiness for ourselves is by believing that we are our thoughts.  Eckhart beseeches us to become aware of the watcher within –the part of us that is able to observe ourselves thinking.   Because whenever we are engaged in thinking, we are not fully present to the moment – to life itself!  Presence and thought cannot exist simultaneously and true joyfulness can only be found through the cultivation of presence.  Presence (living in the moment), which we can observe in animals, flowers, and all of nature, is our natural state as well.  And while our minds our meant to serve us – to help get us through the day to day practicalities of physical living – we have mistakenly let our minds become our masters, rather than the other way around.

Another theme of the book is about ego, which Mr. Tolle describes as an “illusory sense of self” based on one’s memories and thoughts. Ego is a mental construct that most sincerely believes we are separate from Source and separate from one another.  Its basis of operation is just plain fear:  fear of not being enough and fear of not having enough.  It has a constant need to compare, judge, and find fault – in others, in situations and, most of all, in ourselves.  Ego has a need for status and validation, not unhealthy things in and of themselves but, in the case of ego, unquenchable and therefore a source of endless unhappiness.  Its insufferably monotonous mantra goes something like this:  “not enough.. not enough.. I need more, more, more.. (money, things, love, attention, time, you can fill in the blank).  It clings dearly to its own survival at the cost of our inner peace.

The good news is that we have the choice to live consciously or unconsciously.  We can cast ourselves as the victim or the hero of our lives.  We CAN find freedom and peace through identification with our timeless, formless soul instead.  It just takes awareness and practice; we need to become the watcher of our thoughts rather than the sleeping slave to their incessant chatter. The eternal part of us is free – from fear, doubt, worry and sense of lack.  And identifying with THAT, my dear friends, is heaven on earth.

Mr. Tolle is, in my estimation, one of the great spiritual teachers alive today.  If you get the chance to pick it up A New Earth and leaf through its pages, you’ll probably discover pretty quickly if it speaks to you.  If it does, do yourself a favor and read it.  Or, get it on CD from your library, as I did.  It’s a whole lot of wisdom and inspiration packed into 309 pages.

by Daniel H. Pink

In case you’re not familiar with the whole Left Brain/Right Brain thing, here it is in a nutshell:  The left hemisphere of our brain is logical, linear, detailed and analytical; the right side is intuitive, imaginative, artistic, and concerned with the big picture rather than with the details.  Dan Pink puts forth the thesis that we are moving out of centuries of left-brain dominance and into a new era where right brain qualities will be both prized and necessary.  As someone who has strong right brain leanings, this book on the mind was unexpected food for my soul.  If you’ve ever felt “lesser than” because your mind tends to work in loops rather than straight lines, in broad strokes rather than in details, then you’ll probably feel the same sense of celebration that I experienced while reading this book.

This shift from a left brain predominant world to one that incorporates both sides equally (hence “a wholenew mind) is, according to Mr. Pink, the result of “abundance, Asia, and automation”.  Most of us in the “developed” world find ourselves moving beyond the struggle for mere physical survival and towards the quest for greater meaning and beauty in our lives.  We are leaving the Information Age and entering the “Conceptual Age”, an age that will belong to “creators and empathizers, pattern recognizers, and meaning makers”.

Mr. Pink introduces six essential R-directed aptitudes, or senses, that we will all need to develop as we move into the future:

Design – now that we’ve mastered design in the service of function, we’re now being called upon to design for beauty and emotional impact as well.

Story – increasingly valued in business and medicine, stories – context enriched by emotion – can provide a deeper understanding of how we fit in and why that matters.

Symphony – “the ability to put together the pieces, symphony is the capacity to synthesize rather than to analyze; to see relationships between seemingly unrelated fields; to detect broad patterns rather than to deliver specific answers; and to invent something new by combining elements nobody else thought to pair.”

Empathy – the ability to put oneself in another’s shoes, it can never be duplicated by computers or machines; empathy, a right brain function, remains a singularly human quality that is finding greater appreciation in all facets of our lives.  It will be the empathetic doctors, lawyers and others who will have the advantage in the Conceptual Age.

Play – science is now demonstrating how laughter, humor, joyfulness, and learning through games all increase our productivity, creativity, and quality of life.

Meaning – polls and studies have shown that there is a growing desire for meaning and purpose in our lives; Dan Pink makes the case that “there are two practical, whole-minded ways for individuals, families, and businesses to begin this search for meaning:  start taking spirituality seriously and start taking happiness seriously”.

I admit that, as a right brain dominant person, I had a particularly good time reading A Whole New Mind. But I think left brain dominant folks will enjoy it too. Rather than saying we’re making a complete shift from left to right brain dominance, he advocates we enhance our whole brain functioning in order to make the most of the new Conceptual Age. Dan’s stories are entertaining and revealing; his writing is fresh, fun and accessible. Far from being pedantic or boring, this book held my attention and stretched my mind from the first page to the last.

I’ve got a question for you.  How often are you in your right mind? I’m not talking about being “alert and oriented”, a phrase I often used when I was a nurse.  I’m talking about being in the right hemisphere of your brain, a fascinating place.  You could even call it the seat of the soul.  It’s the place where mystical connection occurs, as well as creativity, intuition, empathy, peace, love and all that wonderful, magical, illogical stuff of life .

I’ve been trying to be in my right mind more often, although I think I’ve always spent a fair amount of time there.  It would certainly explain my tumultuous relationship with clocks, as well as my love of play and creativity.

There are two books on the subject that I’ve found particularly helpful.  One is called “A Whole New Mind” by Daniel Pink (subtitled “why right-brainers will rule the future” – it’s about time, i say!).  Anyone alive today who grew up in western society has grown up in a left-brain dominated world.  (Left brain = logic, analysis, language, sequencing.)  Let’s face it, what was valued most when you were in school?  Math and science?  They were in my school. What tended to be shunted off to “electives” or  cut completely?  My guess is it was probably the arts, that second class citizen.  Daniel makes a good case for why he believes we’re in the midst of a societal shift from left to right brain dominance.  Because of computers and information technology, the future is not about discovering the dots but about how we can connect them in new and imaginative ways.  This is the domain of the right brain.  If you’d like to read more about his book, here’s a link to my review:

http://kateoneill.biz/book-reviews/
The second book (I’ve saved the best for last) is called “My Stroke of Insight” by Jill Bolte Taylor.  Jill is a neuro-anatomist at Harvard who experienced a severe left brain stroke at the age of 37, leaving her totally in the mystical realm of her right brain.  Her story is amazing – and valuable.  She spent 8 years recovering, motivated by her desire to share with the rest of us the gifts and wonders she experienced there.  I am not going to attempt to tell her tale.  But, thanks to the wonderful world of TED Talks, she can tell you herself.
If there’s EVER a video I’d encourage you to watch, it’s this one.  It’s 18 minutes long, but it really packs a wallop.  If you only have 10 minutes, then I suggest you forward ahead to minute 8 and go from there. I hope you enjoy it; she’s got a powerful message for us.

Here’s the link:
http://www.ted.com/talks/jill_bolte_taylor_s_powerful_stroke_of_insight.html

After reading Jill’s book and hearing her speak, I realized that I wanted to become a champion for the right brain.  I want to encourage all of us to choose to spend time with our right brain selves.  For in making that choice, we are choosing a reality in which we are one with all of creation as opposed to a reality in which we are separate and alone.  Therein lies the path to peace – both inner and outer.

Here are a few suggestions for getting into our right minds:

• dive into any creative project – just for the FUN of it – paint, collage, play dough, make a flower arrangement, etc.
• practice stillness for 5 minutes a day; simply let your thoughts roll by like clouds in the sky; your (left brain) mind will continue to chatter, but will quiet down over time.
• spend time in nature
• use music – listen, sing, dance, learn an instrument
• play games – board games, sports, charades, etc.
• write – anything you like.. just for you.
• take yourself on field trips to museums and galleries

All of these things pull us into present time, the domain of the right brain, the place where peace, love, and creativity reside.  Most of us are still stuck with the idea that spending time doing fun and imaginative things – or simply spending time being still – is of lesser value than time spent “doing doing doing “allthoseimportantthingsonmytodolist”.

As President of the Right Brain Fan Club, I implore us to elevate time spent in the right brain to its rightful (ha!) place of importance in our lives.

So, dammit, let’s get out there and play, create and have fun!

(tough assignment, I know…)